Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
