Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
