Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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