OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
