whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
