cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
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he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
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It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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