you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
