dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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