remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
