I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
