I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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