they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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