I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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