i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
