dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
