Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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