I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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