Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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