I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im having a threesome with these popsicles
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
