Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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