Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Floor bacon is actually really good
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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