i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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