If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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