His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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