Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
