Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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