Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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