I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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