I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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