She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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