you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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