I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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