I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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