so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
