don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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