I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
