69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
