you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I currently don't understand fingers.
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