Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room