My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
