I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
