I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
