After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
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umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
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Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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