I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
