I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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