we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
