She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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