honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
