Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
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