I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
