So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
