At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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