i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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