She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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