I'm going to jail i love you
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
