I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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