This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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