Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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