STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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